Grey time, eats into your life. It saps your energy and gives you the illusion that your days are full. Instead of focusing on what I want/need to do, I give in to social media, a bit of half hearted tidying. I watch a not very interesting programme or film, all the way through instead of switching it off at the point at which I realise I am bored.
Why do I allow this grey, half heartedness to permeate so much of my day?
One reason is that it stops me having to tackle the things that scare me. By supper time there's no point in working out how to put Dragonfire on Create Space. I can put off learning how to photoshop, or even how to download pictures onto my blog.
On the days I give into greyness. I end up feeling vaguely dissatisfied, a little frustrated and somewhat , bored, but also tired. Too tired to give myself a shake, sit down at the computer and write.
When I don't give in, however, I can go on for as long as it takes and when I outface the demons and successfully use the technology, or complete the story, I feel really good about myself.
It's taken me a while to understand how much of a day can be grey. How little time I can spend living in the now. From now on, I'm determined to make every minute count. Not by rushing around and constantly doing things, however. Being still is good, as is talking with friends or just watching the light change from my window. What is important is not doing something for no good reason, or doing it in a half there sort of way. Life is just too short for that.
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